Survivor’s pain

Those who survive suffer a unique, tragic pain.

Those who survive abortion suffer a unique, tragic pain.  A student wrote on our free speech board, “I lost a brother and sister to abortions. Remember Hitler’s Final Solution? Same result.”

by Jacqueline Hawkins

As a newbie pro-life missionary, I didn’t quite grasp the emotional damage done to abortion survivors.  I had, perhaps foolishly, assumed that children who just missed the slaughter house by a last-minute decision would be happy that their parents chose life.  I figured they might have a closer relationship with their parents because of their ultimate, life-affirming decision.  That’s a nice thought, right?

But given the testimonies of a few students, I’m starting to realize that things aren’t all happily-ever-afters, smiles and giggles.  The fact that your mother and father — the people that gave you life and hold the sacred duty of protecting and nurturing you — almost killed you …  Well, it’s a revelation that pierces the heart and soul, no matter what the parents’ life-affirming sentiment may be now.

At Tennessee Tech, a young woman told volunteer Christy McKinney that she had recently learned that her mother had wanted to abort her at 6 months.  She felt very hurt and became tearful at times during the conversation.  The only reason she was alive was because her grandmother stepped in and vouched for her.  The pictures really hit home for her.  Who can understand the pain and betrayal this girl felt, besides another survivor?

At Wake Technical Community College, a young woman stared at the picture of the first-trimester victim.  “That was almost me,” she told CBR’s Bill and Jeanette Schultz.  “But it was a botched abortion and I survived.”  The student was not angry about the photos, but she was extremely angry and bitter about what her mother tried to do to her.  This wasn’t a change of heart at the last minute.  Her mother made her choice, the hit man was hired and the execution was completed.  By the grace of God, the young woman escaped with her life.

Throughout the conversation, the girl never smiled and her demeanor was one of disgust and hardness.  She told Bill and Jeanette that she has no relationship at all with her mother and did not want one, ever.  They spoke with her about the need for forgiveness — if only for her own peace of mind.  On this day, it was not possible for her.  However, her pain and anger gave her empathy for her suffering brothers and sisters.  As she departed, she said she would never want this to happen to anyone and that it was good that we were there with the pictures.

How sickening it must be for survivors to live in a society that promoted and even now celebrates their own attempted murder.

Jacqueline Hawkins is a CBR Project Director and a regular FAB contributor.

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