Fletcher's Blog

Rep. Frank Niceley

Speaking before the House Judiciary Committee of the 104th Tennessee General Assembly, State Representative Frank Niceley (R-Strawberry Plains) defines eco-terrorism, PETA, and left-wing eco-greenie wackos (which are sort of like fire-ants).

Note: the cartoon explosions and animal sound effects have been added after-the-fact.  Pigs and cows won’t come into the State Captial building when politicians are present.  I think they can’t stand the smell.

I just love Tennessee.

Stacey Campfield

My good friend Stacey Campfield wondered why conservatives are called the “right” and liberals are called the “left.”  He found the answer in the Bible, of course:

“The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left.”  (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

Hot in Tennessee (Charlie Daniel, KnoxNews.com)

It’s so dry in Tennessee, …

• the Baptists are baptizing by sprinkling,
• the Methodists are using wet-wipes,
• the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and
• the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

It’s so hot in Tennessee, …

• birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
• the trees are whistling for the dogs.
• hot water comes from both taps.
• lizards jump into the fire to get under the shade of the skillet.
• the temperature drops below 95 F and you feel a little chilly.
• you break into a sweat when you step outside at 7:30 am.
• you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
• cows are giving evaporated milk.
• farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice so they won’t lay boiled eggs.

(Thanks to State Rep. Stacey Campfield and KNS/Charlie Daniel.)

Rep. Campfield

I’m again indebted to State Rep. Stacey Campfield (Tennessee) for this week’s Quote of the Week!  A new, updated Dr. Seuss:

I do not like this Uncle Sam,
I do not like his health care scam.

I do not like these dirty crooks,
or how they lie and cook the books.

I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.

I do not like this speaker, Nan,
I do not like this ‘YES WE CAN.’

I do not like this spending spree,
I’m smart, I know that nothing’s free.

I do not like your smug replies,
when I complain about your lies.

I do not like this kind of hope.
I do not like it, nope, nope, nope!

What do you think?  Please comment!

I think this is a hoot!  What do you think?  Leave comments below!

“The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to verify their authenticity.”

—-President Abraham Lincoln