Flower

A mother’s loss

We must consider the feelings of those who are post-abortive, but also the lives of those who are pre-abortive (and especially their children).

We must consider the feelings of those who are post-abortive, but also the lives of those who are pre-abortive (and especially their children).

by Jacqueline Hawkins

“I was raped and had an abortion at 14, and these pictures traumatize me,” a young woman at UNC Charlotte told me, with anger in her eyes and an edge to her quiet voice.  She had been standing with a sizable group of angry (but polite) students who did not like our message.  When the group dispersed, she stayed to speak with me.

There was really only one thing I could or wanted to say to her: “I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through and for the loss of your child.”

She wasn’t visibly shocked, but I could tell that she wasn’t expecting my response.  I proceeded to gently tell her that in this whole abortion mess we have to weigh preserving the feelings of those who were touched by abortion in the past with the lives that could and would be saved today and in the future.

In return she told me that she wasn’t sorry or regretted her abortion. “Not every woman regrets her abortion,” she insisted quietly.

Even if that is the case, I told her, the abortion doesn’t make women unpregnant, it makes them mothers of dead children.  Parents who have lost children, whether by abortion or car accident or miscarriage, should have sympathy and condolences for their loss.

Seeing that she was at least somewhat receptive to what I was saying, I gently told her that although people may not regret their abortions early on, that regret could still emerge later on.  Having other children, not being able to have children, or realizing certain landmarks for a dead child (such as birthdays) often sparks deep regret in post-abortive parents.

It is worth every effort to stop abortions, both for the sake of the children and for the sake of the parents.

When she left, she didn’t look happy, but she seemed satisfied with the response I gave her.  Please pray for her and other post-abortive parents.

Jacqueline Hawkins is a CBR Project Director and a regular FAB contributor.

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