Archive for January, 2010
CBR frequently hears from young people who’ve had abortions and have just learned the sad truth of what they have done, in many cases under severe coercion. Our Lois Cunningham responded to one young lady who visited our website:
Sorry I do not know your name in order to write you more personally, but I want to thank you for taking time to give us your feedback at www.AbortionNO.org. Your response to our question asking if our website influencing your thinking concerning abortion was especially heart-wrenching: “I can’t stand going through life with the decision me, my boyfriend, and our families made together.”
Most women and especially teenagers have limited understanding about the reality of abortion. Many have told us they would not have chosen abortion if they’d seen our abortion photos before making that decision. Sadly, the truth is not widely known and some women prefer to remain in the dark so their decision to abort won’t be challenged. Now you have been brought into the light by the harsh reality of our photos – this is a good thing even if you cannot imagine it right now. Your life still matters and you can go on with God’s help. Please do not give up. Keep on reading this message.
When a woman truly realizes what abortion did to her baby, it is devastating. Most every women and teenager has a sense that abortion is wrong, but they don’t know how wrong it is. Perhaps you thought that since it’s legal in the US and since so many others have aborted, it was OK. It sounds like you may have been pressured to abort by your boyfriend, your parents and his parents. There are generally several people who bear responsibility for each abortion besides the pregnant woman and the abortionist.
So many women who have aborted said they never knew how formed the baby was so early in pregnancy. It is heart-breaking to realize you’ve been tricked by the abortion clinic staff and maybe other people.
As a registered nurse, I know of few pains in life that match the grief of a post-abortal woman who regrets her decision. The intense pain that you feel is actually a good thing because you are on a road that can lead you to the help that only God can offer. The key is that you turn to God and not to destructive behaviors.
We pray that you will make your peace with God about the abortion. Only He can take your pain and replace it with hope. Your parents and boyfriend may also be hurting, but they may not talk to you about it. I hope you will consider sharing this email message with them too.
I don’t know where you are coming from spiritually. Based on the Bible, I do not believe that a woman can truly come to a place of peace after an abortion apart from receiving God’s forgiveness. God loves you and He created you and your baby. You interfered with His plan for your child when you chose abortion, but the Bible says God is willing to forgive us when we repent (turn away from) our sin. We’re all sinners in need of God’s grace. Our sin should disgust us as it angers God. We all deserve to die for our sins, but Jesus paid the price for our sins when He died on the cross. Jesus was raised to life three days later. That showed His power over sin and death. His victory will keep you from a lifetime of pain and depression. He can open up a whole new life for you here on earth and then someday give you eternal life in heaven. Heaven is where your child is right now. In God’s timing, you can have a reunion with your child.
Here are two Bible passages which have touched countless people, including many post-abortive women:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” (John 3:16-17)
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” (James 4:7-10)
God wants you to personally know His Son Jesus. Jesus is called many beautiful names in Scripture, and one is “the Light of the World.” You need His light right now to bring you comfort and hope. If you will humble yourself before the Lord, He will lift you up, just as it says in the Bible verse above.
There are a Bible study / support groups to help you work through the grief and many other emotions that follow an abortion. They are all over the U.S. and one is hopefully near you in Virginia Beach. Most of these groups are done in a Bible study format. You need not be a Christian to participate, but you should be open to the truth of the Scriptures. I myself have had the privilege to lead a number of these Bible studies and I’ve seen God work miracles in the lives of many women who participated.
I urge you to consider joining one of these Bible studies so that you can learn more about God’s mercy and have hope for the future. If you visit www.optionline.org you can locate a center near you which may have a post-abortion Bible study. If no current group is available, I can send you a workbook to do on your own. A group is much preferable for many reasons, not least so other women can help you personally. You can also look at this website to find a referral www.abortionrecovery.org. Look under Recovery and then Care Directory.
You may also benefit from visiting these Websites: www.afterabortion.org and www.ramahinternational.org. I have met the founders of both sites and they have tender hearts towards women who are hurting after abortion.
I will send you some helpful material in the mail, if you are willing to provide a mailing address. One is a book co-authored by Sydna Masse, the founder of the second website and a woman who herself had an abortion.
Also, if you’d like to talk to or email one of our staff women who previously had an abortion but repented and now is at peace with God, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with one of these kind women.
Please write and let me know if you have any questions. Let me know if you get into a group. I have prayed for you.
Lois Cunningham, CBR
If you want to help us reach more young people with life-saving truth, please help.
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